Chapter 1
This is not a f**king Diet and Exercise Book
If you want to be coddled and don’t want to hear the truth, then this book
is not for you. This book is honest, pulls no punches, and is rough. If you want a book that is sweet and filled with fluff, go to the spiritual section of your local bookstore. It comes from a fat person’s perspective not a skinny bitch. It’s not a book written by a thin person telling fat people how to live their lives. It’s coming from a fat person just like you, wanting to quit being fat once and for all. This book is about what really goes on a fat person’s life on a day to day basis. And how, do you ask that we get by everyday? Not too well, but we prefer to have the world think otherwise. Why? Because we don’t want people to see our insecurities, but trust me, they do. Fat people lie to themselves everyday. We have to; it’s the only way to get through the day. Fat people want people to think that we are happy with ourselves. But here’s the question, if you’re so happy with yourself then why are you so fat? No answer. Because we don’t have one to give. But what fat people can give you are excuses for being fat. Let’s go through some of those excuses.
1. I don’t know how to eat right.
You cow, are you serious? So in other words you’re telling me that you don’t know the difference between ordering a #2 at Mcdonald’s and a salad. Of course you do, but you rather stuff your fat face with a Big Mac.
2. I don’t have the time to exercise.
I know, I know, times are tough and some parents have to work two jobs to make ends meat nowadays. But please let’s be honest with ourselves. You have thirty minutes to run you mouth on the phone with your girlfriends, talking about somebody else’s business. You have time to have sex with that person who you know you shouldn’t be having sex with. You have time for Oprah, Facebook, Twitter, and Dr. Oz who’s telling you if you don’t lose the weight, you’ll die. But you don’t have twenty minutes to exercise. Please, who you think you’re fooling.
3. I don’t know how to exercise.
Okay, dummy. Look, you see that treadmill over there? Get on it and start walking; you’ve only been doing that since you were what? One. And hey, look there’s a bike. You don’t even need to know how to ride one. Why? Cause it won’t move, stupid.
4. Its heredity.
Oh okay. You were born in a family of drug addicts and criminals; therefore, you would be a crackhead on the six o’clock news robbing a bank with no mask on. I don’t believe you would do that. What if your parents had some disease that was heredity? Would you give up and die? Or would you fight it? Same thing goes for being fat. Just because your whole family is fat, doesn’t mean you have to be.
